At this point, I think we have a lot of solid moving pieces. We've pretty much nailed down Characters, we have some great Story Points, a Set Piece or three, and some solid Tech Tricks. I think we're close to being able to start piecing them together into a rudimentary, very skeletal plot outline.
But first...
Let's put together a sentence or two thumbnail description for each of the players. Just a little something to keep them/us focused and, maybe, inspire a few more collateral ideas. I'll toss in a sentence here and there, and you can feel free to add.
Jordi -- The spirit of an anarchist but, at the outset, too meek to be noticed. She's wicked smart, gifted in all things techie, but has spent her life trying to assimilate, with very poor results. When she goes on the run, she becomes the person she always wanted to be.
Jordi's mom. Not long for this world.
Jordi's dad. Long ago went missing. I'm thinking institutionalized for his paranoia, which it turns out was completely founded, since he thought that people were being watched from the sky.
NSA Guy. Betrayer and then the source of help and the person Jordi has to learn to trust.
Conglomerate CEO -- A decent man used. Misguided, but also too trusting.
Rovian kingmaker -- Pasty, soft, pulls the strings of power because he never had any. Yeah, I know, that's on-the-nose Rove. I trust you'll make him look less sweaty.
BAKK(s)
Field Generals -- How about three different heads of the individual companies that have major contracts with the DOD and whose products are used to come after Jordi. These are the guys who serve as the pyramid of evil that she climbs, and each of their demises/comeuppances could reflect their business/commodity in a Se7en-like way.
And I'm thinking maybe the CEO's wife. I think we need an audience surrogate (besides the conglomerate's board of directors) where we can get some exposition to inform the bad guys' POV. Or maybe not.
Labels: 4GW, Blackwater, NSA
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The table is straining under the weight of everything Russ just brought to it. Well struck, lad. Russ dished out a lot of great ideas that are sure to become major story points, so I want to chime in with a quick roll call.
* The kingmaker/Rove dude being the ultimate bad dude. Check
* The misdirect, finding out that the person we thought was the ultimate evil is just a puppet for the real bad dude. Check.
* Power for power's sake being the motivating factor. Check.
* Rice dick. Check.
* Knocking the second tier bad guys down one at a time on her climb up the evil pyramid. Check. Although, I'm not sure how much time we'll have to devote to establishing full-on personalities for these field generals. We can play around with how in depth we go with these guys.
* Boots-on-the-ground bad guys. I agree with you, they're bad ass kitten killers (BAKK). Check.
* The BAKK -- which could be a team or an individual -- is the one who kills the ultimate bad dude. Check. We could do it so that they receive their directives online. Or, we could paint them as total mercenaries. So one of the final viral counter-assaults Jordi or the Unexpected Military Ally Dude (UMAD) unleash is some proxy/mirror site that can't be traced that is taking pay-pal donations... to outbid the BAKK. Perhaps the growing army of the Media Enlightened all contribute $10, to the point where they hire the BAKK away from the corporate kingmaker. Except, the problem with that is the kingmaker would just hire someone else. So maybe the BAKK do receive an unexpected online directive to take out the kingmaker, and the author of that directive is the bad dude for the sequel.
* Heavy hitter who learns the ends don't justify the means. Check.
* What if we combine this Heavy Hitter Who Learns The Lesson idea with the person we initially think is the big bad dude. And it's when he learns this lesson that he's no longer useful to the kingmaker, so the kingmaker takes him out. This is how we learn that the person we thought was the ultimate bad dude was really a puppet. I can see this happening right about at the middle of our story, pulling the rug out from under the audience's feet, and ratcheting up the stakes. And maybe it's at this moment that the kingmaker adds the bounty to what had up to this point only been accusations of Jordi being a domestic terrorist.
* Ambitious Military Guy (AMG) starts down the road to his penance by starting the New Media counter-assault. Check. What is this viral assault? Here's a thought -- what if he uses his official capacity to get some dirt or tap a call or get an incriminating surveillance photo of one influencial yet hypocritical Old Media pundit. Maybe the video is edited together with the pundit telling on-camera lies. And I like the fade-out tag line for this video being, "Consider The Source". And that tag line could become a recurring rallying cry.
* The division between old and new media, the old and young, and the status-quo vs. the search for change. This is a very interesting idea that I think we need to clarify a bit. Or at least firm up how we articulate it. I'm not sure old vs. young is entirely accurate. And I'm not sure it's old media vs. new media, because there are plenty of internet sites controlled by the established information brokers. Maybe it's more media enlightened vs. media unenlightened. Or perhaps it's more centralized media vs. decentralized media. Let's marinate a little on this.
Labels: 4GW, Bill O'Reilly, Blackwater, Carl Rove, youtube
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LOVE the idea of Jordi being accused of being some sort of domestic terrorist. Perhaps the bad dudes can photoshop her into some still photos from a surveillance camera that seem to implicate her in something -- and these photos get splashed across every news wire and cable station.
And while I'm clearly deferring to you on her look, I will toss this out for consideration -- what if she starts out as a wallflower science nerd loner who uses her hacking skills to intercept text messages regarding parties she's not invited to. Then, when the conglomerate plays hardball and ups the stakes by accusing her of being a terrorist, that's when she's forced to go on the run and change her look. Maybe this is the moment that she starts to look like the alter ego she always wanted to be. Her changing her look -- however that might be -- could be this transformative moment that signals "look out -- she means business".
But it could still be humanizing and funny to have her get all fierce and punked out and then realize that she still needs her dorky glasses.
Also, somewhat along those lines, how about ratcheting up to her being implicated as a terrorist. Maybe, initially, when the conglomerate becomes aware that she's responsible for the satellite disruption (or, more precisely, aware that she has information that threatens billions of dollars from their revenue stream) they send a team to clean her up. But what if -- they accidentally kill her mom instead. This would: 1) Obviously, make everything more personal, 2) Make her search for -- and ultimate location of -- her father more integral, and 3) allow us to have her go on the run without explaining why there isn't a parent at home freaking the heck out.
By the way, didn't we at one time have a name for the conglomerate? I'm not asking for those brain cells back, as long as you still have yours.
Labels: Blackwater, Carlyle Group, hacking, Run Lola Run
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So, Kudos to Dave for three good posts. Sorry I haven't been around. I've been in my meadow for the last couple of weeks, gathering beautiful flowers. Well, that, and painting multiple depictions of Indiana Jones for a variety of huge corporations.
My thoughts: While I like Dave's Enemy of the State meets Erin Brockovich musings, I really prefer our original spanning the globe, entire world at stake scenario.
But I also dig the sort of "nesting dolls" aspect of Dave's new thoughts, and I'm wondering if there's a way we could do the same thing with our first idea, except, I'm thinking, backwards. We start with China and Venezuela, and we work down, from country to corporation, board of directors, to one really bad dude...
This appeals to me for couple of reasons; It gives a trail for Jordi to follow that can lead in any direction we want her to go. It prevents us from worrying about what the data she's downloaded really is, because it doesn't matter - The fact that Jordi has it is all that's important. It's the perfect MacGuffin, like the Letters of Transit in Casablanca, or the Maltese Falcon. And finally, it matches up with my world view - While it's easy to see a company or country as evil, I'm not sure it's accurate, particularly with regard to corporations. I think if you want to put a face on evil you have to look a little deeper, to the people who run those countries and corporations, and who put in place the policies that cause harm.
That might be a nice lesson for Jordi to learn.
A few other quick points:
I think Jordi's an only child.
I think she could be an "A" student, but that she doesn't "apply" herself.
She has a crush on the star football player, and hates herself for it.
There is one person she trusts, but at some point in our story, this person will betray her.
She's got no best friend - And since we have her diary, we don't need to add a character for exposition, which is cool.
I think that when Jordi's on the run, she should be chased, not just by government/black helicopter types and the police, but by everyone; Maybe somehow the word gets out that she's plotting a suicide bombing. It would be cool to see her picture everywhere.
Read about Blackwater here. I wouldn't want these guys after me... Labels: Blackwater, Casablanca, Indiana Jones, The Maltese Falcon
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